One Amazing Little Life Touches so Many

Entrance to Kaifeng SWI.  Photo courtesy of Lisa Brumly, another adoptive mom.

I have been debating for weeks wether to share Leila's story or not.  Its a tough decision to make your child's medical information open for public reading.  But I have set this blog so it cannot be found by a search engine and since we have only been giving out the address to friends and family I think its safe.  We will also password protect this web site after we finish the adoption.  We want to teach Leila that her condition is nothing to be ashamed of, so we have chosen to promote that idea by being open about it. 

Chinese Proverb:  An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance.  The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.

I first saw my daughter's photo and heard of her medical condition on my agency's web site the week of Thanksgiving.   The agency posts photos of hard to place kids on their web site hoping parents will see and adopt them.  All I could see was a head shot and a short description that she had spina bifida, was walking, and seemed to be doing well.  Mike was working out of town and away from any computers.  We had discussed this scenario before, and he told me if I saw a child that could be our Leila to go ahead and email our agency about her without waiting on talking to him first.

I immediately emailed our agency, and they emailed back that she had a long line of people wanting to see her file.  It was quite depressing to be turned away, and it was quite emotionally difficult over the next few days.  I kept going back to look at her photo and description.  For the next 2 weeks her photo remained on the web page.  When a child is selected for adoption the photo will be taken off the web page, and I was wondering what on earth was taking so long for this girl to find her family.  I was almost angry that no one had committed to adopt her.  Then one day in mid-December I was getting ready to again email our agency to inquire about her.  They beat me to the punch.  That same day I received a phone call from them as I was about to leave work.  They wanted to know if I wanted to see her file.  Some how they knew we may be a good match for her and we were second on the long list of people waiting to see her file - YES!!  

Mike was back out of town working, so he had to go to the local library to get on line and see her file.  Mike knew immediately she was our Leila.  It took me three days to let the shock wear off for me to realize it.  Initially we were both worried about her spina bifida, but once we committed to her its been amazing how little her condition means to us.  She is our daughter, plain as day, and she was always meant to be ours.  Funny looking back on my doubts and how silly my worries over something so insignificant was.  Birth mothers don't get to choose the medical conditions of their children, and I learned that adoptive parents don't either.  Once you find your child, you just know.    

But Leila's story doesn't start with us and this decision, this amazing girl touched many lives long before we came into the picture.   Like any adoptive parent when adopting a child who will know very little of her past, I began immediately to research the area she lived in and her finding location.  A week after we made our decision I was doing some searching on the internet for photos of her orphanage.  She was found at three days old at the entrance to the orphanage.  I was googling "kaifeng orphanage" and happened across this web page posted by Amanda with Starfish Orphanage.  The story was about a baby girl and a baby boy from Kaifeng orphanage.  Both had spina bifida and were sent to Shanghai for surgery under who would soon become the awesome BaoBei Foundation.  My daughter also had her surgery in Shanghai, so I thought it would be interesting to read the story knowing my daughter had a similar story.

When Amanda first saw the babies, the three month old boy was awake but was only 7 pounds.  The little girl was extremely small and was not awake, nor was she being fed.  I was instantly worried about how my daughter was since she was from the same orphanage and would have had the same caretakers.  The story went on telling about the poor health of these babies and the little baby girl had at one point stopped breathing, and Amanda had to rush her down the hospital hallway to find help.  Luckily they were able to get her breathing again.  

The story ended very good.  The babies lived through the surgery and went back to Kaifeng to flourish in good health.  The doctor who performed the surgery, Dr. Bao, and another Lady, Ting Ting went to visit the kids last May and were happily surprised to see how well the babies were doing.  They were both a far cry from the frail tiny babies they had met in the hospital.

As I continued to read I began to notice more similarities with my daughter.  The baby girl in the story was said to be 25 days old, and I know my daughter had her surgery at about one month old.  Then I looked at the dates.  This little baby girl was in the hospital at the same time as my girl.  

I immediately emailed Amanda at the email address on the web page to see if this girl was my daughter.  She emailed me back that she didn't recall the name of the baby, so didn't know if it was the same girl or not.  She put me in touch with a lady who currently works with Bao Bei Foundation, Ting Ting.  Ting Ting works closely with Dr. Bao organizing surgeries for orphans throughout China.  She was there at the time these babies were having their surgery, and we were hoping she could remember the name of the child.  The next day, I received an email from Ting Ting confirming that it was indeed my girl (Dang Xin Yuan).  Ting Ting and Amanda were amazed that I had managed to reach them.  Apparently my daughter, known as Baby Yuan, is quite famous with the volunteers at the Shanghai Children's Medical hospital.  She was the youngest baby at the surgery and since they had to send her nanny away it was quite a group effort from many volunteers to care for her in the hospital.  They said once I received my preliminary approval from CCAA they would share more information with me about my daughter's time in the hospital.  

Amanda sent me some photos of her at the hospital.  She was so tiny!  My heart just melted.  I spent much of December crying my eyes out for sorrow of what she had been through, and for happiness to hear she is doing so well.  I had to tell my boss how unproductive I had been at work because I was such an emotional wreck.  Luckily she had been pregnant twice and very much understood the worries of a new mother-to-be.

We finally got our preliminary approval from the CCAA on December 29th.  I emailed Amanda and Ting Ting immediately.  Both of them shared the most amazing stories with me.  Some of it is their own private story, so I won't share it here, but I can share that thanks to my girl's suffering early in life people from a charity organization, Love Without Boundaries, investigated the Kaifeng Orphanage.  They were already involved with the orphanage, and were the ones that paid to have Leila have her surgery, but they had no idea how bad off the orphanage was financially.  The orphanage is in a very poor area and didn't have the funding to provide proper care for the babies and other children they had.  Love Without Boundaries is now providing more funding for the orphanage and ensuring the kids have better care.  Most of the kids are in foster care these days.

Ting Ting said she thanked the person from Love Without Boundaries who went to Kaifeng to investigate.  The response was, "don't thank me, thank Baby Yuan", that my daughter had brought attention to a much needed cause and many kids would now get help.  More tears from me when I read this.  Amanda and Ting Ting have told me how important that time was for everyone who helped out with the surgeries when my girl was in the hospital.  They never thought that she would make it, and have both told me how my girl has an amazingly strong will to live.  I wonder how I got so lucky as to be able to adopt this girl. 

My girl's life continues to touch others, even now.  I have received multiple private emails from people who also saw her photo on my agency's web page.  Some of them were already open to a special needs child but had not considered spina bifida.  Thanks to her they are now open to a spina bifida child.  Others were not open to adopting a special needs child at all, but after seeing her on the web site they now are requesting a special needs child.  Mike and I are so proud of all that our daughter has accomplished in her little life, and how many lives she has touched and changed for the better.  Maybe this is just a mother's pride, but I just know my girl is destined for great things in her life.  I hope we are up to the challenge.

I hope we get our travel approval soon so we can finally meet our most remarkable girl!

Kelly